Weaponised Popstars File 666: Broken Pop-bots. Immediate product-recall recommended.

A normal day in the life of a confused pop-bot: chained to a giant paedo-bear while being ridden by a monkey cowboy.

The Disney manufactured demon pop-bot known as Miley Ray Cyrus,  began her final countdown yesterday as her product recall date appeared to be looming ever closer.

The malfunctioning bot has recently been engaging in ever more bizarre behaviour such as that exhibited during a 2013 MTV children’s show where the manufactured pop-product  attempted to apparently wash her face  using a black woman’s booty bottom as a big wet  flannel.

Despite an obviously media savvy appeal to the children, by evoking the mason’s favourite, the beloved rogue Paedo-bear, it appears that the hardware  installed during the 90’s era of Disney’s Mickey Mouse club has developed many grave system errors which are seriously impeding the bot’s logic systems.

The unit has recently lost control of its lower jaw and a tongue can often now be seen, pathetically protruding. Some say the bot is consciously attempting to portray the demon Goddess Kali for bizarre  Illuminati ritual purposes, but it is far more likely that this behaviour is simply evidence of a broken product.

It is apparent that prior model pop-bots such as Justin Timberbot appear to have been equipped with better processor units and as such have a longer operational life. However the use of inferior CPU’s was not restricted to Disney but poor hardware has also been found in products originating from Canada such as the Justin Bieberbot.

One can only guess what unpredictable new behaviour this unit will start  displaying in the coming months. One current forecast, based on present behaviour patterns, is that the Miley Ray Cyrus bot’s next task will be to attempt to eat a snooker table as part of her live stage show, after which she will most likely  try to transform herself into a three bedroom house and will spend several weeks trying to move into her own  box-room.

It is clear that the degrading systems performance of the Miley Cyrus Pop-Bot has invoked an automated  all systems shutdown response. However the software corruption is such that this could take several months, or even years to effectuate.

In the meantime, the most important advice we can provide is to keep this unit away from children and the elderly.


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Insider information……. from the man they couldn't recruit….and a bit of messing about on the side.

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